Heroin
by itzarazorblade
Summary: In the midst of cracking a muggle selling ring on the black market for record clearance in the ministry, a witch attempts to capture Draco with a botched Amortentia potion. But when he wakes, he sees Harry Potter. Will he be able to ween himself from him?
1. The first step to recovery

"Heroin"

Draco walked into the room in his best dress robes. Black silk, hung from his lithe frame, nearly touching the ground, parting just enough to see his shiny leather shoes as he took off his gloves, stowing them in his pocket. Despite the repulsive appearance of the outside the inside was quite well lit. He expected nothing less from a den of deah eaters. It took a drop of his pure blood and several words to get the door to open and reveal this marvelous environment. Marble floors, crystal hanging from everywhere as if it was dripping from the ceiling to produce light. Warmth coming from balls of fire floating up near the crystals causing them to be even more radiant. The floor glittered and matched the ivory piano to his left. He walked past a violinist violently moving with every change in note, bending in half, flailing back up, eyes shut ever so lightly producing the most wonderful sounds accompanied by a pianist. Draco closed his eyes for a moment and imagined that every stroke of the piano sounded like when a drop of water drips from the faucet and into a deep sink. Sticattoed and beautiful.

Snapping out of his daze as a woman walked up to him, corset so tight she appeared to have been poured in to it and was spilling out all over the laced edges, scaled red and black dragon hide tightly pulling her together creating a delicious hour glass figure. The boning of it on the outside, real dragon bones. Her black hair curled and wild, a kind of organized chaos like his aunt Bellatrix. Her plump, garishly blood red lipstick coloured lips curled into a kitten like smile as she lifted the edges of her ridiculously thick equally red skirt and layers of black peticote and curtsied to Draco, reaching her hand out, palm to the floor, waiting for him to take it.

"I know it's hardly proper for a woman to ask a man but, would you mind dancing? I do love the piano."

Draco kept his apathetic Malfoy patented arched eyebrow and slight frown, but reached his hand out all the same after a moment of disapprovingly eyeing her pale boney hand in his face. Bowing, he then walked with her to the center of the dance floor.

She pressed herself flush up against him. Where as before she was simply spilling out, now she was gushing over the top of her corset, breasts nearly touching Draco's chin. He turned his head and put a hand on her waist, lifting the one that was still holding her hand and began to glide, attempting to hide his disgust by letting his mind wander to the piano again.

"Mr. Malfoy..." The woman practically moaned into his ear, her breath rolling thickly down his neck.

"I assume you're here because you wanted in on the i new meati", she hissed. An evil giggle escaping her causing her nearly unbearable cleavage to jiggle like so much pudding in a large bowl.

"You assume correctly."

He spun her.

"I was promised this one."

She spun back in to Draco, nearly knocking him over and certainly knocking the air out of him with a light 'oof'.

She inhaled deeply and sighed,

"You smell like lilies..."

"I'm not telling you again, I'm not interested." He spun her again, keeping his voice and face flat, and apathetic.

She smiled.

"You're not so much better than me."

Draco snorted,

"I'm a Malfoy, of course I am."

Her smile got wider as she slowly leaned her head on Draco's shoulder.

"Just tell me where to go." He snarled.

She giggled.

"But the song isn't over yet!"

"Why they put you in charge of anything is beyond me."

She sighed, hugging Draco nearer,

"They trust my womans intuition, I suppose."

"I trust you about as far as I can throw you."  
He spun her again. The music came to a dramatic, loud end and the floor cleared as the silence was filled with chatter.

They casually walked over tot he table where she poured two glasses of punch.

_Anyone we've connected to the murders? _a voice rang in his head.

Draco's head snaped around, scanning the crowd like a hawk.

_No_

A glass was pressed in to his hand, he asbently sipped from it, welcoming the familiar burn.

_At least there's alcohol in this, thank Merlin._

_There was a snort followed by laugher_

_We need you sober, Malfoy._

_Have you seen this beast clawing at me? Not on your life._

He downed the glass.

"The one that I'm getting tonight, it's that healer girl from the aper that went missing, correct?"

"Yes!" The woman hopped.

"They took her right out of her filthy little muggle home with her filthy little muggle husband and blood traitor children." she hissed.

"For what I got charged I'd expect a muggle." Draco mumbled handing her the glass back and gesturing for more.

_Malfoy! _

_Hey now, this occlumency is supposed to be for communication not for you to eaves drop on my every word and thought._

"Young master Malfoy", a voice rasped.

He turned to see silver hair cascading over pointed shoulders, dripping down the the bowing mans face as he looked up.

He recognised the mans face as a friend of his fathers and bowed.

"I wasn't aware the Malfoys indulged in such...less than savory events. I heard you were captured by the ministry. Shouldn't you be in Azkaban right now for having the mark and aiding the dark lord?" He stood and smirked, leaning heavily on his silver cane.

"I was capable of convincing them that due to my age I wasn't to be held accountable for what I did to save myself or my family." Draco chuckled lightly.

"Potter's always had a weak spot for his school mates, I mean look around you." He snatched the glass from the woman without looking at her and waved his hand towards the crowd of young face.

"Practically everyone here graduated with me and is continuing their parents work in abolishing mixed blood and muggle borns. They had a chance to stop us and they didn't."

The tall man smiled,

"Your father is so proud, I am sure."

"I was a key part in getting them in the school that night, without me, none of it could've happened. The dark lord trusted me implicitely." Draco said with his nose in the air, sipping from the glass.

"God this is horrid stuff, who couldn't put in a few extra Galleons to get the good shit?"

The man shrugged.

"Well, I must continue socializing. You understand?" and with that he swooshed off, his cloak swinging in a Snape-like fashion. Draco's heart tugged at the thought of his lost Proffessor.

He took a few more large gulps of his drink and the woman grabbed his hand and began to pull him towards a dark staircase.

"Hey where do you think you..." His tongue felt heavy. Too heavy.

"Is this where you're keeping the woman? When did I get my property?"  
"Oh Draco, Draco, Dearest sweety. I promise, as soon as you wake up...you'll have a woman. One you will **never** forget." She smiled down at him, placing her lips on his.

_Drunk already?...no...no this tastes worse than it did before..._

She tugged him up the steps and tossed him into a large arm chair, casting a binding charm on his arms.

"Wha a you doinnn..."

He heard her laughter and the muffled cries of another woman and a light flickered over in the corner. He caught someone bound and gagged, tied to a chair, wrists behind her, legs to the legs of the chair. It was the witch he had purchased.

_Potter... if you can hear me... I've located Maggie Mcvigory. She's bound... I am too. She drugged me I'm losing consciousness._

"Honestly, I thought it would be harder..." the corsetted woman paced between the two of them.

"What with your school expertise in potions... Severus would be so disappointed."

_Potter...Potter...POTTER. CAN YOU HEAR ME?_

"It was a basic love potion hidden behind some whiskey... tsktsktsk" She shook her head, still pacing, arms behind herself.

She neared Draco, cupping his face with her blood red nails digging in to his cheek bones.

"And when you wake up..." She brushed her lips against his.

"You will see her. And love her. Forever. So strongly..." She dug her nails in to his face to a point that should've hurt, but his face had become numb and his tongue so lax he couldn't speak. He was rapidly losing control over his neck muscles and his face sagged, resting in her hands and she smiled sweetly.

"Love her the way you wouldn't love me." She dropped his face and reached back, smacking him as hard as she could. Her metal ring cutting his face and drawing blood.

All Draco could do was roll his eyes up towards her and glare, mouth slack and open.

"And then you can watch me kill her." Her face broke out into that insane smile again and she hopped, jumped, skipped back over to the sobbing woman. A flick of her wand brought her chair so close to Draco their knees were touching.

'It will be ok' he tried to mouth to her, but only managed to drool down his chin.

"You will pine after her for the rest of your life. Her and only her. Until the lonely emptiness eats you alive..." She cast a glance over her shoulder at him,

"Just like it's eaten me..."

Black enveloped him and his senses. Deep, cold, darkness.

"Do you have her apprehended?"  
"Yes sir."

"And what about McVigory?"  
"On her way to St. Mungo's. What would you like done with Malfoy?"

He heard a sigh.

Arms wrapped around his shoulders. He felt an electric surge and his eyes snapped open staring straight in to green ones. Magic crackled along the top of his flesh. Goose bums breaking out all over and he shivered.

"no." Draco slurred.

"NO" He snapped his eyes back shut, shoving Harry away and dropping himself to the floor. He stumbled up and backed away, hands over his eyes.

"Malfoy... What are you doing?" Draco approached him.

"NO NO NO STAY BACK! SHE GAVE ME A LOVE POTION!."

Harry froze.

"and... now you're in love with her?"

"...No... She said when I woke up...Whoever I saw first."

Harry gasped and turned his back to Draco, as if this would undo or fix something.

_Assistance needed on floor two, injury, needs transportation. _Draco heard ring through his head.

Healers trotted up_, _levitating him and appirating to the hospital.

"You can uncover your eyes, you've already seen someone." a healer muttered at him.

"We'll need to draw some blood to figure out what exact ingredients were used."

Draco flung his arm over the side. It had been a few hours and other than obsessing over the idea of possibly obsessing over Harry Potter, he...really didn't feel any different at all.

"...is there a window open... I smell grass? That cannot possibly be sanitary in a healing envinronment."

"No sir."

A needle pricks his arm.

His mind began to wander to the potion, the situation, how dangerous it was, how much danger he had been in, how stupid it was to go alone, how he should've gone with someone else, how Harry shouldn't have let the minister convince him that Draco would be fine on his own...Wait... When did anyone discuss with him the possibility of not going alone? The minister simply told him that if he cracked this case they could finally strike him from the records and allow him to walk free with no time in Azkaban and continue his career as an Auror. Suddenly he found himself entirely panic stricken and he had no idea why.

"Where's Potter?" he asked as calmly as possible.

"Outside the door in the hall, would you like him to come in here? We told him not to wander because we didn't know how the potion would effect you."

She removed the needle from his arm and carried off 3 vials of blood.

Harry walked in, head down, eyes trained on the floor, but in a straight line to Draco's bed.

"So..." Harry said scratching his head, sitting next to Draco's bed.

"Feel anything... unpleasant yet?"

Draco stared at Harry really very hard.

"I''m so full of anxiety I think I may burst. Which is relatively uncharacteristic for me. But do I want to jump your bones..."

He tipped his head to the side and examened Harry closely.

"No..." He mumbled.

Harry sighed and a huge wave of relief washed over Draco, so intense he nearly fell back asleep.

"She probably did something wrong. She wasn't exactly the brightest witch in our grade... And we did get her and the victim.. So technically your trial is over and you've helped us stop this muggle trading ring..."

Draco squirmed, he was beginning to feel awkward and like he was speaking too much... But he wasn't speaking, Harry was.

"Somehow once she got you upstairs the occlumancy ended and we couldn't communicate with you anymore."

He was wracked with guilt.

"I'm sorry..."

Draco felt his throat tighten and constrict and cramp and he choked a little as his cheeks puckered and his eyes began to burn. Was he going to cry? Over what?

_Oh no. She must've...gotten to him before we got there. Oh no oh no oh Merlin I'm going to have to tell them to get out a rape kit and-_

"Potter I can bloody well hear you and she did no such thing thank you _very_ much!" Draco folded his arms and began to feel a blush crawl up his face as he looked up just in time to see Harry's ears turning bright pink.

"I... said that outloud?"

_Good lord Harry get a hold of yourself, you'll have to take some time off if they think you've lost it._

"Trust me Potter, I've known for a while that you lost it."

"..I didn't say that.. I know I didn't."

Suddenly Draco became very nauseated.

"Maybe you've been using the occlumancy too long and forgot to detach, I think I can still hear your thoughts." Draco suggested, rubbing his stomach to try and calm down the need to vomit.

"I feel like someone's shot me with adrenaline, I'm twitchy and anxious and I just can't stop...FEELING."

"The occlumancy ended when you went upstairs Draco..."

"But I heard you call to the healers."

"But you couldn't hear me speaking after you went upstairs...I couldn't hear YOU. It's why we busted in and ruined a perfectly good opportunity to get all those death eaters at once, we weren't sure if you were dead or not."

Draco scrunched up his face as his heart skipped a beat and he heard, while looking straight at Harry's unmoving mouth.

_Oh bloody fucking hell._

Draco's mouth fell open.

"Potter..."

Harry locked eyes with Draco, a clammy sweat breaking out over his body as he instinctively cracked his knuckles.

_yes? _Harry thought.

"Oh my... I can hear you... you thinking!" Draco shrieked.

Harry reached out and smashed his fist on the bed side table and Draco grabbed his own hand,

"OW BLOODY HELL YOU MORON WHY... wait you hit your own hand...mines throbbing...oh no oh no oh no..." Draco grabbed either side of his head.

A healer bustled in, slamming the doors open and holding sheets of lab results.

"Mr. Malfoy... we don't know exactly what she thought she was making but...this is certainly not a love potion...It looks like it was supposed to be...Amortentia but she just... did it wrong?"

"Yes, we have figured out that it is not a love potion. So what is it?" Draco demanded, rubbing his forehead as he began to get the world worst headache, looking over and catching Harry pinching the bridge of his nose, clearly fighting off a migraine. Draco rolled his eyes and sighed.

"Well.. it's got wrong levels of things...Seems to be more... Well we just don't know I'm sorry."

Draco felt himself go pale and Harry covered his face just in time to miss Draco leaning over the other side of his bed and vomit on the floor out of the sheer intensity of his own anxiety and Harry's mixing into a nasty concocsion.


	2. Withdrawal

"Heroin"

"Should I... leave? Is it less bad when I leave?" Harry stood slowly, as if should he move too quickly Draco might spontaneously combust.

"I think I can't hear your thoughts when you're away. I can barely hear them now... just bits and pieces."

Harry sighed with relief and Draco felt his muscles go limp.

"You really, really need to get your emotions in check before you kill me, or I wet the bed or something." Draco snorted indignantly.

"What?" Harry said sitting back down in the chair with a plop. The wooden legs scraped against the wooden floor creating a high pitched painful noise that radiated through Harry, giving Draco goosebumps.

"I feel what you feel only, I hope, much more intense. Because if you walk around having these severe reactions it's a wonder to me how you get out of bed in the morning." Draco stared at the nurse who had been tapping him in various places attempting to figure out if it had just been a hex and not a potion.

"Look woman, I've already told you, I tasted it. So that's the end of that. It was a potion. Back away from me with that thing before I snap it in half and shove it up your-"  
"Malfoy she's just trying to help, there's no need to be nasty with her."

Draco's heart skipped a beat and he was suddenly overcome with anger and irritation at his own actions, and suddenly emberassment and disgust as well.

"Ok ok, I will shut up if you can keep a lid on how you feel!" Draco snarled.

Harry glared at him and Draco broke out in a faint sweat. He felt so angry he could break things.

"I SAID CALM THE FUCK DOWN POTTER NOT GET ANGRIER."

Harry's face snapped to a shocked expression then he closed his eyes and it went blank. Draco felt a little more at peace.

"I don't even understand why you're still here." Draco spat at him.

"This whole stupid thing is your fault. Letting me go in their alone. I could've died!"  
Harry gripped the sides of his chair.

"I know I'm sorry."

Something began to build in Draco's chest.

"Or do you just believe in sacrificing one to save many. Because really that's your bit not mine." The venom was draining out of his voice.

"I'm barely twenty I have a whole life ahead of me, and I know I did bad things but really you could've done more to make it a little less like a planned execution. Shoving me in a room of people I barely know."

Draco's throat constricted and he couldn't speak anymore. His cheeks burned and his face puckered and it felt as if an elephant were leaning on his chest.

He covered his mouth and slowly, tears began to slip down his face. His eyes got wide and he furiously wiped them away.

"Potter I can hear you berrating yourself, but what's worse is I feel it, shut the fuck up. I was being dramatic I'm fine." He coughed a few times and tried to compose himself while tears continued down his face.

"Mr. Potter the minister would like to talk to you." a head popped through the doors and said before disappearing again.

There was that tightness in his chest again.

Harry got up and silently walked away.

Draco noticed as soon as he left the room, every muscle in his body relaxed. He was no longer on edge. Was this the way he walked around all the time?

"Ludacris.." Draco mumbled to himself as the healer finished her last round of tests and he drifted off to sleep, completely exhausted from the mental flexing that had just occured.

_It's bloody hot in here._

Draco thought as he kicked off the covers and realized how they clung to him and slid down in a sickeningly slimy fashion.

"Oh gross." He muttered as he cracked his eyes open and caught sight of his bed, half soaking wet. He completely kicked the sheets off and began shivering so furiously it felt like convulsions. He was freezing and covered in sweat. He curled in to himself, trying to stop the shaking and shivering and somehow manage to grab the blanket. He covered himself and heard the heart monitor alarm go off.

On the plus side, he thought, he could not hear or feel Harry.

On the down side, he appeared to be dying. Or at the very least it was the sensation he was getting from the pit of his stomach.

There was a gnawing in his brain and logically he knew he should call for a nurse but he felt so weak he didn't think he could. He curled in to the tightest ball he could in the middle of the bed and dry heaved a few times before he figured this was it. He'd been poisoned by that un-educated wenches attempt at a love potion.

The room spun and he clenched his eyes shut.

Another wave of nausea hit him and he rolled over so he didn't drowned in his own vomit should he actually throw up. Just as quickly as it came the nausea disappeared and he was stricken with a panic so strong he knew this was the end. Cleary his heart was giving out as it ached in his chest and flopped around like a dying fish gaping for oxygen. He felt rough fingers grab either side of his face and lightening struck through him.

The shivers disappeared and he stopped sweating. He arched and flushed and gasped and grabbed the wrists of the person holding his face and moaned as his entire body felt like it was alive after being deprived of oxygen and heat for hours. His face tingled and it spread down his throat and his torso, across his arms and down his legs to his toes and he was in the land of the living again as he opened his eyes to see Harry hovering over him, shaking him and...was he yelling? Sound returned to Draco, yes, he was yelling.

"Draco! Draco come on come back to us!"

Draco took a few more huge gasps of breath and dug his nails in to Harry's wrists and sputtered,

"It stopped..."

Harry looked at him critically.

"He's awake!" Harry called out. Draco heard the alarm next to him shut up.

Draco let go of Harry's wrists and Harry pulled back his hand and Draco shivered again, feeling the cold return. He shakily reached out with an, even for him, oddly pale hand and grasped the cuff of Harry's robe and pulled.

"Wait, wait don't let go it's coming back..."

Harry furrowed his brow,

"..you want me to... hold your face?"

_God he must be ill._

"I don't bloody well care what you hold as long as I don't feel like that again." Draco said breathlessly.

_Why me? I mean out of everyone there why me?_

The shivering continued to get worse and he felt himself become clammy again. He reached slid his hand limply down Harry's sleeve and wrapped a hand around Harry's wrist and the insanity pulled back, leaving a sweat covered disheveled Draco behind. Like the ocean's tide, crawling back down the beach and leaving back garbage and dead things.

_Oh gross his hands are sticky and sweaty and ew gross..._

"Potter," Draco sighed with relief.

"I can hear you, shut up."


	3. The experimental stage of addiction

Draco sat there for what felt like days just grasping Harry's wrist, taking deep breaths of the sickly smelling hospital air. But it was air, none the less, something he had felt deprived of for a while.

"I know that magic keeps this place clean but would it really kill them to do something to kill the smell along with the germs." Draco looked at Harry who was becoming increasingly red, Draco felt a blush creep up his own face in response.

_Don't think of anything emberassing don't think of anything emberassing don't think of that time you made out with Ron because you were really drunk don't think of..._

"Shit" Harry sighed.

"Oh. That's fantastic." Draco scoffed.

"Thank Merlin I only hear what you're thinking and I can't see it."

The same medi-witch who had been tapping him earlier came in. Draco heard Harry mentally note that they never seemed to just walk anywhere, always in a hurry, they nearly ran.

Draco let go of Harry's wrist, not wanting the nurse to see.

"So what's going on?" Harry asked taking a step away from Draco and absently rubbing his wrist.

She handed Draco a small vial with about an ounce of something purple with swirls of silver.

"This is all we can offer you right now, it will hopefully stop your ability to hear Mr. Potter's thoughts, but without knowing exactly what she made the potion with and how she did it... We can't hope to come up with anything. Although no love potion is perminent so hopefully this wont be either."

Draco took the vial and gulped down the contents.

_I could go to Azkaban and interogate her, I bet we could get a list out of her with the dementors there...or at the very least get her inte-_

Draco held perfectly still and held his breath with his eyes shut tight, listening hard.

"Malfoy?" Harry asked, Draco felt the panic begin to build in his chest and wanted to tell Harry to shut up but more than that wanted to listen to the voice in his head that was steadily becoming quieter and quieter. He gripped the rough cotton sheets in his fists and was capable of feeling them scrape against his hands and became more aware of the fact that he desperately wanted to shower and change and that he was absolutely starving.

"Malfoy?" Harry reached out and grabbed Draco's shoulder. Draco gasped, his eyes snapped open and he felt his pupils dialate so quickly it hurt, like when you walk out into the sun, only in reverse. Magic trickled down his shoulder from Harry's fingers and he shuttered as Harry grabbed his other shoulder and put his face in front of Draco's.

"Can you hear me?"

Draco's eyes fixed on Harry's face and when his other hand came in to contact with the flesh of Draco's shoulder he let out a small moan. He didn't think anything in the world felt as good as the tingling he got from where Harry's skin met his own. He shivered and melted into Harry's hands.

Harry screwed up his face and tipped it to the side looking at Draco as if he'd grown an extra set of eyes.

The nurse flushed and averted her eyes.

"MALFOY?" Harry yelled in the blondes face. The fuzzy pleasure erupting from his skin flipped over and became a nasty streak of panic and he felt adrenaline begin to buzz through his veins as Harry panicked.

"Why are you just standing there? What did you give him? He's not responding to-"

"It's just something we give psychic children while they learn to control their powers." She said throwing her hands up as if Harry had a gun to her.

"No." Draco said

"I mean yes." He took a few deep breaths and tore his eyes away from Harry's panic stricken ones.

"I can hear you speaking, but I can't hear you thinking... But I CAN still feel you freaking out. Can you stop that? Really you should meditate or something you're going to put yourself in to an early grave."

Harry tried to pull his hands back but Draco caught his wrists again. Their eyes met and Draco looked at his hand around Harry's wrist as if he was shocked he caught it.

"...let go" Harry said in a half questioning tone.

Draco scoffed,

"If I vomit and die, it's strictly your fault."

Harry narrowed his eyes and pulled his hands back in.

"Why would you vomit and die because you weren't holding my wrists?"

"I don't know." Draco turned his face to the nurse.

"When he's away I think I'm dying and when he's near me it's like..." He trailed off, trying to think of a way to word it without sounding pathetic and needy.

"Well it's just unpleasant if he's next to me but not...touching me."

The nurse dropped her hands and started to fiddle with her apron, dipping her hands in and out of pockets as if one of them may contain the answer.

"Well it stops the thoughts not the empathy... That's more of a personal control issue. You should be able to block it out if you try hard enough. It will take some practice but hopefully we can just figure out what this is and make an antidote. As for your current physical state, you are healthy. Unless... Mr. Potter isn't around."

"So then just give me a potion to make THAT go away." Draco folded his arms and looked at Harry's hands out of the corner of his eye.

"There really is nothing we can do about something we know nothing of..."

"I can set up a veritasirum interogation of her, we can figure this out."

"Well... in the mean time, Mr. Malfoy, there are many many sick people that need this bed you're lying in. So... we're going to discharge you. Of course if anything goes awry come right back."

"To my home?"

The nurse shifted her weight.

"No... we believe the best idea would be for you to stay with Mr. Potter..."

"Potter I'm impressed, this place is very clean. I'm assuming you don't have house elves?"

Harry didn't answer him and just walked up to his stone fire place.

He grabbed a handful of floo powder and Draco choked back the panic. He'd been around Harry for a few hours during the discharge and then they apparated back to Harry's home, allowing Draco to grab his arm for just a moment.

But he was _leaving_?

"Y..You're going to leave me alone here?" Draco cleared his throat, attempting to act like that incredibly stutter hadn't just escaped his clenching throat.

Harry peered over his shoulder, floo powder seeping between his fingers and falling back in to the dish, as if it were an hour glass, counting the time it took Harry to contemplate his actions.

He dropped the powder back in to the container and dusted his hands off, slowly turning to Draco with his head down, not making eye contact.

"It will just be a minute. You can't wait just long enough for me to go to talk to someone at the Ministry about interogating her about this? I'm sure you want it to be over as soon as humanly possible..." Harry turned his head to the side, still not making eye contact with Draco.

"I..."

Draco shivered. It was like Harry was a magnet and he was just a piece of shrapenel. Helplessly being flung across far distances to latch on to him. Draco firmly planted his feet in the floor and clenched his fists.

"You can't make it... ten minutes? I wont be gone hours."

Draco tightened his jaw so hard he was sure his teeth would shatter.

"Of course I can. I was just concerned about the dust and filth everywhere." Draco stuck his nose up in the air.

"It's clean compared to what I expected but still nothing near what I'm used to." He folded his arms and turned his back to Harry.

He felt a swell of anger. Harry's emotions were leaking in to him again.

"I'm sure you'll survive" Harry retorted before he grabbed the floo powder again, threw it in the fire and was gone.

Draco took in a deep breath and backed himself in to a corner.

"in and out Draco, in and out. Keep it together." His breathing slowly got faster and faster.

He leaned forward, putting his hands on his knees as the room began to spin.

He cleared his throat and stood up straight, made it about three paces across the room and tripped over a table, fumbling and catching himself on the fire place with shaking pale hands.

"Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh bloody fucking hell."

He gripped his stomach and dry heaved, dropping to the floor.

He lied on the floor for what could've been days for all he knew, the room spinning, the sweat pouring out of him as he shivered mindlessly numb to anything other than the stress Harry was feeling, miles away from him.

"Th-they said you c-c-could block this out, Draco. Come on...G-g-get it togeth-er..." His teeth chattered so hard it hurt.

He focussed on how he felt instead. The sharp stabbing pain in his chest, the bile rising in his throat, the pounding head ache. He groaned and caved in. He'd rather feel what Harry was feeling.

He was over come with extreme disappointment. So much defeat. So much anger. So much guilt.

He shivered and curled in to a ball, pressing his face to the stone fire place as he pushed himself up to lean against it, knees to his chest.

Finally, the fire blazed and out popped Harry. He surveyed the room for a moment,

"Malfoy, where did you go?"

The sound of chattering teeth to his left caught his attention and he looked down at Draco who had ripped off his shirt to try and stop the sweating but shivered as if he was in the snow. Head pressed in to his knees, nails digging in to his arms which were tightly wrapped around his legs.

"Malfoy, do you need to go back to the hospital."

Draco looked up, the purple around his eyes would've led you to believe someone just beat him senseless. He swallowed hard and opened his mouth to speak.

Harry knelt in front of him.

"What is it that you need? I'm back. Do you want water? Do you need another one of those potions she gave you? I have a ton in my pocket, she gave me them before we-"

Draco tipped himself forward on to his hands and knees and crawled weakly over to Harry, shaking so badly he wasn't sure he'd make it. All he knew was that this was the only thing in the entire universe he could think about, and he needed it now.

"I don't need..." he gasped.

"Those stupid potions..."

He stood on his knees and reached forward, clamy skin making sticky contact with the sides of Harry's face as his eyes widened and Draco closed his eyes, shivering, only in a different way now.

He shook his head and tipped it back, leaning forward and burrying his face in the nape of Harry's neck.

"Just..." He took in a deep breath. Entirely intoxicated by the smell of what he could only think of describing as 'Harry Potter'.

"Just fucking touch me. Potter."

He scooted closer pressing his bare chest to Harry's clothed one and took in several deep breaths as he tried to stop the shaking.

"I can feel it, you're confused." Draco panted.

"I am too, but if you want to help me as badly as you seem to just... touch me. For fucks sake, please, Potter, I'm begging you. I will do anything." He ran his nose along Harry's neck and felt his pants get uncomfortably tight. He shivered and moaned as Harry slowly reached forward, his fingertips barely touching Draco's shoulder blades. He slowly pressed his hands flat against his back and ran them down Draco's sides.

"Oh.. God..." Draco shivered and tensed. He pulled Harry closer, ramming their bodies together, his erection firmly pressed against Harry's torso. Harry gulped.

"." Draco panted.

"Don't stop don't, please, Harry, please."

The idea of having a coherent thought was the farthest thing ever at the moment, all he knew was the magic sparks between Harry's skin and his own, and how they pleasantly traveled down his torso to more sensative areas. It felt like the build, right before an orgasm. That moment where there's just so much pleasure and tension and pressure.

Harry swallowed hard and ran his hands back up Draco's back and over his shoulder blades, along his arms.

Draco moaned loudly, breathing harder and harder,

"Oh Harry..Harry..HarryHarryHarryHarry" he was saying it so fast now it didn't even sound like english.

Harry ran his hands back down Draco's back and along his hips, squeezing a little and Draco tensed and seized. He sputtered and bit down on Harry's neck as his hips bucked and his mind swam.

"OW!" Harry shouted, shoving Draco backwards.

Draco fell to his side, holding himself up on his elbows panting and running his hands through his hair which was sticking to his forehead.

He looked up at Harry who was rubbing his neck and standing, backing away from Draco.

"did... did you just..." Harry cut himself off half way through the sentence and just turned to face the other way. Not that hiding his blush and discomfort would really matter, Draco would still feel it whether or not he wanted him to.

"The bathrooms down the hall, you can take a shower there." He muttered as he walked past Draco and up the stairs to his own room.


	4. The misuse stage of drug addiction

Harry marched upstairs to the library and walked up to the shelf that contained the books pertaining to his last case. He pulled book after book, mind wandering to the endless list of things that Draco had done to him. The name calling and taunting, the low blows at his family life or lack there of... Why was he helping him again? Maybe this was some kind of ultimate karmic justice. He led a life of selfishness and greed, so clearly it is only fitting that he be tortured by need for the rest of his life.

He let the death eaters in to the school, caused at least two deaths directly two people very close to him, tried to trap him on the train under his invisibility cloak and kicked him in the face...

Harry was snapped out of his thoughts by the sound of him slamming the last book on the shelf in to the stack that was now up to his waist. He certainly did not need all those books, or the copious amount of dust floating around from him throwing all the books at eachother.

He looked around the room and pulled out a small photoalbum from between inconspicuous books and opened it to a picture of his parents, Remus, and Sirius.

Their younger selves waved rabidly, Remus shyly, but eager none the less. Harry sighed and leaned on the shelf behind him. A loud pop behind him caused him to throw the album feet in to the air, catching it and shoving it in his cloak he turned to see Hermiones hair engulfing his face.

"Oh, Harry I'm so glad you're safe!..it's really dusty in here."

"Really, Hermione, you are spending too much time with Ms. Weasely. It was a standard job. Ron was with me, didn't he tell you I was fine?" He reluctantly pat her back.

She held him out at arms length and glared at him.

"I mean you are keeping Malfoy here! I was concerned he'd done something... bad to you? But judging by his state, I guess he probably can't?"

She tipped her head to the side and squinted,

"Harry.. do you have a hickey?"

Harry clasp a hand over his neck,

"No." he said honestly.

"It's not a hickey."

He took a step back, out of her arms.

"I was thinking of telling Draco to kick rocks... I mean...He's really been nothing but a pain since the day I've met him...He could just go back to the hospital, right?"

Hermione thought for a second,

"I understand where the venom you feel is coming from but... From the way Ron described it...He doesn't do well when you are out of the room which...where is he by the way?"

"Showering, he's been covered in sweat for a good ten hours. Every time I leave he freaks out and sweats and they thought he was going in to cardiac arrest in the hospital and-"

"And you want to leave him there that way until what? They find something to just keep him unconscious or he kills himself out of insanity?" Hermion was giving him _that_ look again.

"After everything he's done to all of us, and you want me to coddle him?"

"When did I say coddle? You don't have to talk to him or love him or even enjoy him being here. You could just sit and scream at eachother! But if you wanted him to suffer so badly, why didn't you just let him burn to death in that fire back at Hogwarts?"

Harry opened his mouth to answer and then shut it again. He looked at her long and hard and finally said,

"You're absolutely right. It's not what my parents would've done. Or Dumbledore. Dumbledore was always on his side, waiting for him to do the right thing..."

"And this happened because he WAS doing the right thing!" Hermione threw her arms up in the air.

"Right, so...I don't have to be pleasant. I just have to be there...But I can't take him to work."

"It's supposed to wear off though. Maybe he'll be able to stand you being away for hours at a time by Monday?"

Something thudded against the wall causing both of them to turn around with their wands out.

"Potter..." Draco panted,

"I know Grangers' in there..." he took a few more ragged breathes.

"But I...don't want her to see me like this."

Hermioned looked over at Harry, lowering her wand.

"This is my house, she can stay if she wants." Harry snapped approaching the door.

"..Please..Potter-" Draco was cut off by a gag.

Harry stopped short of his hand being on the knob.

"It's not a big deal Harry, I can just come back later."

Harry just stood, hand hovering above the old brass door knob on the big grey door.

The floor shook slightly and the sound of something hitting the floor right behind the door caused Harry to turn to Hermione and nod good bye as he opened the door and barely got a foot out before he saw Draco crumpled and breathing hard on the antique throw rug that ran down the hall.

Next to the lines of gold in the carpet, Draco's skin appeared to be the colour that things take on when they die. He was kneeling, one hand clenching his chest and the other digging in to the carpet.

"I'm here, what do you need?" He walked up to Draco, kneeling next to him.

Draco reached out snatching the front of Harry's shirt and collapsing in to his chest. He took big gulps of air and the scent of Harry and the feeling of his magic and everything else that was so competely perfect about the feeling that was Harry Potter close to him.

He rested his forehead on Harry's shoulder and reached down putting his hand over Harry's much tanner one.

He felt Harry tense and his breath catch as he laced their fingers and lifted Harry's hand placing it on his chest where his own pale hand formerly was.

"I need you... to touch me..." Draco scooted closer.

"I thought you just needed to be in contact with me...at the very least for me to be in the room."

Draco made a sound that was half sob half laugh.

"You don't understand." He wrapped his arms around Harry's shoulders and burried his fingers in Harry's hair.

"It's survivable when you're in the room, yes." He scooted slightly closer and Harry began to move his hand to the space of Draco's chest not covered by his partially buttoned shirt and Draco stifled a moan by pressing his mouth to the collar of Harry's shirt.

"It's... it's tollerable if I touch you. But...but when you touch _me_..."

Harry felt goose bums grow beneathe his hand and slid it under his shirt and across his chest.

Draco was so close their knees were touching, he spread his slightly more, trying to get closer until Harry's knees were touching Draco's thighs.

He felt Draco quiver.

"It more than goes away..."

Harry let out the breath he'd been holding and allowed himself to think, without fear of Draco hearing it, that he didn't smell the same as he did before now that he had showered in Harry's bathroom and used his soap. Draco's wet hair dripped in to Harry's lap and he lifted his other hand to touch a strand that was about to drip and felt Draco's entire body flinch and he pressed his face in to Harry's palm.

"It's bloody amazing." Draco said rubbing his face in to Harry's hand. He turned and looked up at Harry. Their eyes locked briefly before he quickly looked back down.

"I'm pathetic and this should bother me. Logically..." He tipped himself up on his knees to straddle Harry's lap, resting lightly in it.

"Logically this should bother me, that I'm begging. But I just don't bloody care as long as you keep...touching me."

He leaned his forehead on Harry's and felt the slightly slicker flesh of his scar against his smooth skin.

"I don't need to be able to hear your thoughts to know that it's not exactly hell for you either..."

He was swimming in the sensations from Harry's hands, his smells, his feelings.

It was all he could feel. He looked in to Harry's eyes and cupped his face. He felt intoxicated on magic. Harry's was prickly, like electricity with furr. It made Draco's hair stand up on end and radiated out of every pore in Harry's body.

He arched his back as Harry's hand left his face and braced his back.

"Nnn...Please..under my shirt?"

He felt Harry's eyebrows scrunch against his own.

He smirked,

"I can feel the uncertainty in you. But there's something else there to. A nagging need. A curiousity. A want."

He tipped his chin forward brushing their lips together.

"It's like a tornado in my mind and body, and then you walk up and touch me and I'm in the eye of it. And all there is.. is just good."

Harry clenched his teeth together and Draco brushed their lips again, closing his eyes and breaking their stare.

"I can feel it. You want it so badly. You like this. You have always enjoyed making people happy and feel good. And this is the simplest thing you could ever do to make someone feel the best you could ever make someone feel." He mumbled against Harry's lips.

Harry opened his mouth slightly, teasing Draco's lips with his own. Hesitantly leaning forward, but not closing his mouth. Not a kiss, just another touch.

Draco moaned

"Stupid Potter and your constant need to do good."

As he leaned forward to kiss Harry, he was shifted off of his lap and on to the floor as Harry stood. He gasped as cold collapsed in on him. The touch was gone. The good was gone. All of it. There was nothingness. Dark, cold, black, nothingness. He wrapped his arms around himself and bent forward.

"I only intend on keeping this bearable for both of us, Malfoy." Harry said as he reached down, grabbing Draco's arm and lifting him.

"You will take these potions and stay out of my head as much as you possibly can."

He shoved a purple potion from his pocket at Draco who was just happy to feel Harry's hand on his arm.

He took the potion and downed it.

"You need to get a better grip on yourself so I can go back to work and get this thing straightened out."

Draco just kept his eyes trained on the floor. The traumatic loss of the closeness still echoing in his mind and body.


	5. The abuse stage of drug addiction

Draco sat on the bed across from Harry working on paper work, shivering helplessly, cursing his mouth to all kinds of unthinkable places.

He contemplated making a potion to just kill his libido so that he would not care whether or not Harry touching him felt good, then remembered the plethora of suicides that typically happen when people try things like that in response to love potions, or at all for that matter. Sometimes the potion just never wore off and they were stuck celebate forever. He shuttered at the thought.

"You know you don't hate to just sit there and stare at the wall, you could go get a book." Harry said without looking up from his papers.

Draco shot him a glare,

"I couldn't focus on reading right now if my life depended on it."

Harry sighed and set down his quill, Draco noted that it looked a million years old and wondered why he didn't buy more with all the money he had.

"So you have to experience something unpleasant. You'll survive." He rolled his eyes and picked his quill back up.

"Unpleasant is not the word." Draco spat out through gritted teeth.

After the little episode in the hall Harry apparently didn't plan on indulging Draco anymore, as everytime he would reach out and touch him, Harry would just pull away and scoot over without so much as a glance up.

Draco held his hand out and watched as the shake became a tremor and he pulled his knees in to his chest, trying to hold himself together. His teeth began to chatter.

Harry gripped his quill harder,

"If you're just going to sit there and stew in how badly you feel, I'm not exactly tempted to help you at all."

Draco didn't respond and just stared at the wall.

"Go get a book!"

Draco twitched,

"I can feel how annoyed you are, stop. I can't deal with it right now." He mumbled resting his head on his knees and slowly beginning to rock.

No matter what, he would not beg again. Malfoys don't beg. For anything. No matter what. This would just have to kill him.

Harry pushed his chair back, the same goose bumps as back in the hospital rushing across Draco's body when the chair legs scraped against the ugly old wood of the floor.

Draco watched as Harry left the room and tried to focus on taking deep, even breaths. He felt his throat constrict and his head cave in as he dug his nails in to his legs. He refused to get up and follow Potter like some kind of sick puppy.

The room swirled slightly and he clamped his eyes shut.

'No, Draco, you can do this.' He thought to himself.

The nausea hit as he felt like someone had punched him and he fell over on his side on the bed and curled in to a ball, still trying to keep his breath even.

It slowly started to creep back away from him and he knew Harry must be walking back in to the room so he forced himself back in to an upright position, leaning up against the wall.

Harry tossed a book on to the bed and stopped to look at Draco with his face all screwed up.

"You look like hell."

Draco didn't even have the energy to glare at him.

"So you're going to ridicule me and keep me in hell? Maybe I will just go back to the hospital. Why should I put up with this?"

"I'm doing YOU a favour Malfoy. I could've just washed my hands of you before the trial even came around but I stood up for you! You think they WANTED to give Lucious Malfoy's son a second chance? No. Not a single one of them did."

"Oh well thank you so much for your charity." Draco swung his feet over the edge of the bed and began to scoot to the edge weakly.

"You were an evil person, and for all I know you still are! For all I know you're playing the part of a changed death eater to get closer to the ministry."

"My family is plenty close to the Ministry, Potter, and even without your _charity_ there is no way on Earth I would've ended up in Azkaban. Not with the ties I have. Don't give yourself so much credit. And did it ever dawn on you that maybe I'm just a normal person who was put in a bad situation?"

Draco stood and wobbled for a moment before approaching Harry, his hand out pointing at him accusingly.

"You did what you had to in order to keep your friends and family safe. And I did what I had to in order to keep mine alive."

"Yea well, thanks to you not all of mine survived!"

"You think I don't know that!" Draco shouted, now in Harry's face, well, one of them anyhow. He was currently seeing about 4.

"You think I don't know _precisely_ how many deaths were caused by what I did? What I HAD to do? You killed too, don't act so innocent. You just did it in the name of righteousness. Just like EVERYTHING you do! So when I do it it's evil but when you do it it's correct and grand?"

Draco scoffed turning away. He started towards the door and was struct violently by guilt. So much guilt. Buckets and buckets of it, pouring over his body. He clutched his stomach.

He turned to face Harry,

"You may be capable of making me feel like death every time I say something to you, but I will not apologise for doing what I had to. I will not apologise for keeping my family safe, saving my own life, or standing up to people like _you_ who have no idea what I had to go through. You might feel this overwhelming guilt over what you did, but I don't. I delt with it. I've atoned for my sins, and when this is all done with I will continue to do so." He turned back to the door to open it.

Harry rubbed his temples. He walked up to Draco and wrapped his hand around his wrist, facing the other direction.

"I'm sorry" Harry said at the window above his desk.

"You look like you're about to fall over and die, I wouldn't trust you to apparate anywhere right now. Just stay. Wouldn't want half of you to end up at the hospital and half of you to end up in my living room.."

Draco shivered and tried as hard as he could to fight the overwhelming sensation of warmth and life that krept through him as Harry held his wrist, he focused instead on the embarassment Harry felt, and his own cheeks went red from it.

"I can floo. They have potions to keep me stable I'm sure."

Draco remained facing the door and seriously contemplated his options. He could go home and experiment on himself until he found something to make him feel better, go back to the hospital and let them do the same thing only with less knowledge, or stay here...

Harry sighed and let go of Draco's wrist. Draco choked back a gag and tried to fill the hollowness in his chest with lists of ingredients that could cause this feeling to go away and how he could mix them. He put his hand over his mouth to avoid vomitting.

The sound of fabric rustling filled the room he felt his own body become chilled and wrapped his arms around himself.

"Potter, what the hell are you doi-" He turned to see Harry approaching him with his head down. Draco backed himself up to the door until his head smacked against it, but he didn't feel it.

All he could feel was the certainty and confidence surging through Harry.

"Potter..Potter, what..." He couldn't put words together as Harry's hands come out and unbottoned Draco's shirt quickly, his thumbs brushed against Draco's collar bones as he pushed the shirt off his shoulders and Draco hissed, looking down and to the side.

He reached up and bit his knuckles as Harry's hands went flat against his stomach. His rough fingertips danced up Draco's chest and his head flew back, slamming in to the door and he moaned, so loudly. He didn't care what he looked or sounded like as long as this feeling never ended.

He felt the confidence swell in Harry and his ego build.

"Brat." Draco panted as he cracked his eyes open looking down at Harry who had his head tipped and was watching the colour return to Draco's flesh where he touched.

"They could give you potions to make it survivable, but... Just surviving isn't good enough is it?"

"You're bloody nuts. Screaming at me one second, blaming me for everything and then..." He was cut off by Harry's hands creeping up to his neck and he just groaned and turned his head, embarassed he had no control over any of his body at the moment.

"I've blamed you for everything the entire time. I figured you deserved this. But if you were to go somewhere and die, I'd never be able to forgive myself for that. Even if I can't stand you."

"You're using this to keep me here, you prick." Draco panted covering his face and running his hands through his hair as he squirmed under Harry's hands.

"I'm keeping you from leaving and hurting yourself."

"How nice of you." Draco felt his pants get tight and pressed himself flush against Harry.

He ran his nose up Harry's neck and nearly screamed when Harry lightly ran his hands down his back.

"Fuck... Potter..." He whined. He felt the muscles in his stomach getting tighter and the pressure in his body building.

"Stay?" Harry asked.

Draco latched on to Harry's neck, sucking lightly. He burried his hands in Harry's hair and when he felt him moan he gripped hard and pulled back, his knees turned to jello and he pressed himself hard in to the door, squeezing his legs together as he came in his pants, nearly ripping Harry's hair out.

Embarassment tried to push its way in to his mind from Harry's but he pushed it back and rested limply against Harry's frame as Harry stood there silently still. No longer stroking Draco's back. He slowly pulled his hands back and backed away, looking the other way.

Draco slid down the door and sat on the floor, the afterglow of his orgasm being ruined by the disgusting emptiness in the pit of his being from Harry walking away. He covered his face with his hands and heard Harry scoot the chair back and sit in it.

"Potter... If you ever tell anyone that I-"  
"Tell them what?" Harry asked as he began to write again.

"You can sleep in here, I'll just get a bed from another room."


	6. Rock Bottom

Draco lied in the dark, stiff as a board, eyes fixed in the pitch black straight ahead. He flopped over to his other side.

"Draco, just take a damn sleeping potion."

"You can get addicted to those things!" Draco snapped.

"You want me to take one every day until this goes away? No. I just need to learn how to c-c-control it." He cursed under his breath as he began to tremor.

Harry sighed and Draco heard him flop over to his side and face him,

"You can come over to this bed, you don't HAVE to sleep in that one-"

"You're trying to take advantage of me."

Harry snorted,

"I'm trying to sleep. I can't with you five feet from me rocking and rolling around and sighing and shuffling so either take the damn potion or go to sleep peacefully."

"Tomorrows Sunday it's not like you have to work."

"I don't know what you think being an Auror is like but I work every day. If I'm not chasing someone I'm doing paperwork, if I'm not in the office I'm on call. Although I doubt thanks to them knowing about your situation that they'll call me in away from you unless something serious is happening."

"Oh so it isn't all serious? Because you seem to think every second of everything that you do is terribly, terribly important."

"You're unbearable when you're sleepy. It's not narcissistic of me to want to go to sleep."

Draco grit his teeth and fumbled out of his own bed and on to Harry's. He groped around until he found the other mans hand and put it on his own face.

"I don't care how crazy I am, I am not spooning you."

"I don't care if you run around the house butt naked and on fire as long as you do it quietly and let me sleep."

Draco felt all the muscles in his body relax and thoughts of cases he never knew existed flooded his mind,

"That potions wearing off."

"Just shut up and go to sleep Malfoy."

Draco woke up as soon as he felt the bed shift and his body became surrounded in cold. He cracked his eyes and saw Harry leave the room.

"Potter where are you going?"

He heard Harry sigh and stop walking in the hall.

"I'm showering and then I'm going to go through every book I can find in my library about how I can make it more barable for me to be away from you so I can go to work on Monday."

Draco closed his eyes again and attempted to go back to sleep, but it had been about twelve hours since his last potion and he quickly found himself caught up in lists of things that needed to get done and criminals to investigate. He got goosebumps as his body became oddly warm and his muscles relaxed. He melted in to the bed, Harry must've stepped in the shower. He focused on the warm soothing feeling and tried to block out the thoughts by thinking of flying instead. He cuddled down in to the bed and stretched, burrowing in to the blankets and rolled over on to his stomach. He went rigid as his erection scraped against his pants and rolled back on to his back.

An eery feeling wafted up him as he wondered if he was aroused because HE was, or because Harry was. It was intrusive and unpleasant. Maybe it was because he had spent the entire night touching Harry. No...it hadn't been there just a minute ago when he woke up.

Admittedly though, he preferred having unexplainable boners to feeling like he was dying.

He brought all of his thoughts to Harry, tryin to figure out what he was thinking about, but to no avail. He must've been too far away. After a few moments the boner went away and he had nothing left to think abotu except how far away Harry was and how he would really, thoroughly enjoy being closer again.

He got up and shuffled to the hall, he braced himself against the door frame while the room spun. The bathroom door creeked and Draco approached it.

"Potter... come here." He muttered as he turned the corner. Harry turned around and pulled the towel off of his head and quickly wrapped it around his waist.

"Malfoy that was MAYBE fifteen minutes, you can't give me that long?" Harry sighed and slammed the door in his face.

Draco held his head as it throbbed and he gulped. He tried to shake his head 'no' but the pain was too much and he rested against the wall again.

"This is so pathetic..." he whispered to himself.

He felt bile rise to his throat and growled slamming his fist in to the wall.

The monster gnawing on his insides shut up momentarily and all there was in his mind was the sharp pain in his fist.

He slammed it in to the wall again. And again. Three more times. Something in his hand went 'crunch' and his craddled it until Harry flung the door open, towel around his shoulders and shirtless. He whipped the towel off his shoulders and wrapped Draco's hand in it.

"What the fuck exactly do you think you're doing?" Harry snapped.

Draco stared blankly at Harry, eyes focussing on his dripping hair.

"Malfoy? Is this some kind of psychotic cry for attention because really, if I paid any more attention to you I would have to stop feeding myself and showering. And I'm sorry but that's not happening!" Harry twisted around, keeping one ahnd on the towel around Draco's hand and stretching to grab his wand off of the sinks edge.

Draco watched a drop of water fall off of Harry's hair and land on his cheek bone. It slid down his face, seductively tracing his jawline and going slightly towards his ear as Harry leaned, clearly not quite long enough to reach his wand. Draco leaned forward ever so slightly, licking his lips. Harry stretched as hard as he could, grunting and finally managing to touch his wand, fingering it closer to himself before grabbing it. Before he had a chance to turn his head back, Draco closed his mouth around the drop of water right under Harry's neck. Harry jumped a little and made a sound that existed somewhere in between 'incredibly unmanly squeek' and 'needy moan'.

Draco sucked gently and lapped gently, removing the water from Harry's skin. He took his unbroken left hand and cupped the back of Harry's head and pulled him in, pressing him against the wall. He nibbled lightly and Harry squirmed under him.

Draco touched his nose to Harry's ear, removing his mouth from Harry's neck after making a mark. He ran Harry's ear along his cheek until it reached his lips and groaned,

"You taste so fucking good..." He licked the rim of Harry's ear.

Harry shivered and turned his head completely to the side and closed his eyes. Draco felt a blush go across his own face.

"I can feel you again. I'm gonna need one of those potions..." He blushed so hard it hurt.

Harry turned and their noses touched, he had his wand in one hand, and Draco's bloody mess of a hand in the other. He shifted his gaze to the side again and Draco brushed their lips together.

He felt Harry shiver.

They locked eyes and Draco felt the monster in his chest slam in to his heart. He pressed his lips to Harry's and Harry held his breath.

Draco pressed himself in to Harry, crushing his hand between them. He enjoyed the wet stickiness that

"Kiss me back" he whispered and looked back in to Harry's eyes. He had his eye brows stapled together and kept looking to the side.

"Please..." Draco begged.

Harry sighed and hesitantly pressed his lips to Draco's.

Draco moaned and sucked lightly, pressing Harry's face closer to his with the hand on the back of his head.

All the craziness that had been going on in his body for the past few days purred in content pleasure as Harry licked his lips and Draco opened his mouth and experienced new tastes to associate with Harry. The sensation of his tongue going across his own, how soft his lips were despite how rough his hands were. He heard Harry's wand hit the floor and felt his hand brace the middle of his back and his entire torso broke out in goose flesh. Harry pressed Draco closer and Draco felt his hand squish between the two of them and shreaked, pushing Harry away and coddling his hand again.

"Ow, oh Merlin. OW." He crouched down and yelled in to the floor.

Harry bent over picking up his wand and Draco felt his want, his need, the desire he felt raging inside of him. But the pain in his hand really did distract from it quite a bit. He tapped Draco's hand and it was healed. Draco panted and stretched his hand out in front of him.

"I am incredibly stupid sometimes.."

"Why would you break your hand?"

"I didn't do it on purpose, Potter." Draco snapped

"If I do things to my body I can ignore when you're not around... Maybe that means I can just replace you with someone else... No because everytime they stopped touching me I'd just go back to feeling like shit..."

He felt a heartbeats worth of panic run through Harry then disappear.

He looked up to see Harry turning around.

"It can't possibly be more pleasant to break your hand than to be away from me."

"Oh it's possible, and it happens."

Draco glared at him,

"Don't feel so special. It's horrible! You enjoy me feeling that bad?"

Harry laughed, but didn't answer.

He picked up the robe he had worn yesterday off the floor and pulled another little purple vial out of it.

"You're way over due."

He stared up at Harry for a moment before standing and snatching it out of Harry's hand and gulping it down.

"What's that taste like? It looks like grape cough syrup.."

"Grape what?"

"...Nevermind."

"What're you afraid of me feeling, Potter? How much you enjoy how soft my skin is?" Draco purred behind him, he walked up to Harry's back and nuzzled his neck. Harry stepped away.

"How badly you need me to keep touching you. Almost as bad as I need you to keep touching me?"

Harry just picked his clothes up off of the lfoor and brushed past Draco and marched in to his room, where Draco followed him.

"How long have you had a thing for me? Is that why you were always on my cases? Is that why they seperated you from your partner to watch me? Because you asked them to?" Harry dropped his dirty clothes in a basket and continued to not answer.

"Or is it new? I guess most people would feel some kind of attraction to someone who was throwing themselves at them...and I'm not exactly hideous." Draco put his hand on his hip and Harry turned towards Draco and walked up to him, shoving his pointer finger in to his chest.

"Don't get this twisted Malfoy. This is my house, and I'm the boss. I could leave you in a hospital bed somewhere to wrythe around in agony."

Draco smirked and touched his nose to Harry's.

"I think you need me just as much as I need you."

Harry narrowed his eyes before grabbing a robe out of his closet, he turned to glare at Draco, and with a loud crack, he was gone.

Draco felt the room close in on him and the loneliness punched him in the chest. He choked for a second before he gathered himself again.

"I've gotta distract myself" he said outloud as he ran down the stairs and in to the kitchen.

He tore through the cupboards as his hands began to shake, removing various ingredients for multiple potions that popped in to mind.

"I could calm my body with some aspects of the living dead draught... a sleeping potion maybe... something for the emotions..."

He grabbed a cauldron and threw everything in it.

"This could take hours...I'll lose my mind before then..." He ran over to the sink and clutched his stomach as he dry heaved a few times.

"I could... continuously harm myself and heal myself... that's insane... I can't do that."

He turned on the stove and put the cauldron on it.

"Just sit down, shut up, and breathe."

He sat at the table and tapped his fingers against it.

He began to tap his foot.

"He offered me a sleepint potion.. maybe he keeps them around here somewhere...You're talking to yourself Draco."

He began to go through the fridge, back upstairs, through the bedside table, through Harry's closets. Eventually he came to the bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet and found some pre-made store bought crap.

"Oh these things are horrible quality, you'd think if he could kill Voldemort he could make a bloody sleeping potion!" He scoffed and ripped the cap off before downing the dose.

He stood and stared in the mirror for a moment.

He touched his lips and closed his eyes, imagining the way Harry felt.

He grabbed another potion and downed it.

He felt his focus return to him, if only a little.

Draco shuttered and bit his lip. Now he was drowzy and panicking.

He could think of about a million other feelings he'd rather feel, like being on fire, or nothing at all. He desperately missed feeling nothing at all. Or just plain old content. These extremes were getting... extreme. They were tiring him out. What if Harry never came back? What if this never wore off? It had been days and all it had done was stay as bad and make him look like a slut. What if he was at the mercy of Harry Potter until the day he died? He smelled like grass and tasted like cinnamon and he missed it more than he thought he was physically capable of missing anything at the moment. The roughness of his finger tips against Draco's skin, the desperation in his lips, the nervousness he felt, the unsure jerkiness of his physical advances. He wanted all of it back. Right. Now.

He felt like the hollow remnants of some kind of pathetic thing that never needed to exist in the first place.

His eyes refocused in the mirror and he noticed his lips were going blue.

"Have I eaten food in the past twenty four hours?... No matter I'd just throw it back up right now anyhow..."

He wrapped his shaking arms around his slender torso and collapsed on to the wall behind him. He shivered as the cold touched his spine and he sunk to the floor and hugged his knees.

"I miss him... I need him... I miss him..." He rocked slowly and burried his face in his knees.

How long had he stood in front of the mirror thinking of how Harry tasted and felt? How long was he in the day-dream of their kiss? He didn't think he was able to stand and go back to the kitchen. Those sleeping potions had started to take effect and his panic calmed more, but the absolute emptiness was still there. He needed to numb it out.

He felt tears begin to slip down his face. He stood on wobbly intoxicated feet and stumbled down the stairs.

"I will be damned if I sit on a bathroom floor and cry like some little heart broken girl over Harry fucking Potter..." He angrily wiped the tears away and fumbled in to the kitchen, switching off the fire and spooning out some of the concoction in to a glass.

He stared at it for a moment.

"That is an awfully odd colour... Oh well. What's the worst it can do. Kill me?" He looked at the clock.

"I stood in the bathroom for three hours thinking about Harry Potter...I've really lost it."

He noticed as the potion cooled it got thicker and thicker and darker and darker. It was nearly black and almost as thick as pudding. He decided if it was going to make it down his throat he had to drink it now.

He held the glass to no one in particular and said,

"To death, or peace. I don't care which, as long as it's more pleasurable than this shit."

He gulped it all down in one big swallow and his mouth went dry. It was like tar. He heard the glass shatter on the floor and cursed as he wanted to fill it with water to get the texture of ...muddy grass out of his mouth. As he stood to get another glass he wondered why the lights went out in the kitchen. He heard someone call his name from upstairs and just as his finger tips touched a glass in the cupboard, everything was gone and he felt his head smack against something that felt oddly like the floor.


	7. Numb

Draco felt content. He was warm and there were hands and the thing in him that screams when Harry is away was very quiet. Too quiet. Was the lovely rush of flesh across his face Harry's hand? His head throbbed a little.

'smacked that one good...' he thought. He opened his eyes and could feel his mouth moving.

"Harry... are you lis..ten...what?...AM I SPEAKING?"

"Well.. you were and now you're yelling in my ear. Thank you."

"...what was I talking about." Draco pushed away from Harry.

He had been sitting with his legs across Harry's lap and his arms around his shoulders, head nestled between Harry's head and shoulder.

He pulled his arms back and pointed accusingly at him.

"You left me here to suffer! You used my illness to PUNISH me! You fucking-"  
"I already apologised for this, Draco."

"Don't you speak to me so familiarly."  
"You just TOLD me to!" Harry slammed down the book he had been reading.

"No. I fell over in the kitchen when you came back and...well how am I here. Why didn't you take me to a hospital? You didn't even care that I smashed my head in to the floor? What'd you do find me unconscious and have your way with me?"

Harry choked,

"WHAT? You were not unconscious! You were up and.. and you don't know?"  
"Know what?"  
"You don't remember anything?" a smile broke out over Harry's face, and slowly but surely, he began to crack up with laughter.

"Potter, this is barely humorous."  
Harry stopped laughing and covered his face.

"You weren't conscious, You didn't even know what you were doing. I knew you drank that and I was having a fucking heart attack and was worried SICK and you were.."

"I was what?"

Harry rubbed his temples.

_Harry heard a thud and ran down the hall from his room, he stopped in the bathroom to check if he was there, finding a few empty bottles of sleeping potion didn't help the panic he was feeling._

_"MALFOY?" He shouted as he marched down the stairs._

_As he swung the door open he saw Draco kneeling on the floor and picking up pieces of glass._

_Draco looked up and glared at Harry._

_"I dropped the bloody glass because I was shaking so hard." He spat out and chucked the handful of glass at Harry's head._

_"You think that's funny? That you can just destroy me by walking away or leaving a building? That you can practically stop my heart by taking your hands away from me? You are no hero. Harry Potter. You're simply a well-trusted child."_

_Harry dodged the glass and looked over at the pot of what appeared to be tar._

_"What is that..." He walked up and tipped the pot, but the contents didn't move an inch. _

_"It's...like...the texture of jello or something, it's completely set..."_

_Draco clunched his stomach and heaved the contents of it on to the floor. Harry jumped back and yelped. Strings of the disguisting liquid trailing out of Draco's mouth as he spat and wiped at his face._

_"You DRANK that?"_

_Draco stood, still glaring at Harry and turned again to vomit in the sink, he turned on the water and began rinsing his mouth._

_"What is it?"_

_Draco rinsed his mouth a dozen times, relishing in the ability to feel the water in his hands. He cupped them and let them fill with the cool clear liquid, then spread his fingers and let it run through. A shiver ran through him, hollowing out his chest. He filled his hands and drank water for what seemed like an entire minute. _

_He turned to face Harry. He took a step forward and fumbled, Harry quickly reaching out to grab him._

_Draco sighed a few times and looked up at Harry, tears in his eyes. He gripped his forearms and pulled Harry towards him, smashing their mouthes together. Harry grunted and tried to pull back but Draco grabbed either side of his face, digging his fingers into his cheek bones._

_"Don't leave again." He licked Harry's lips and slammed him in to the fridge, crashing their hips together._

_"PLEASE" he said sternly as he adimantly licked until Harry opened his mouth quickly replying,_

_"ok, I wont." _

_Draco ground his hips foreward into Harry's and Harry moaned into Draco's mouth,_

_"Malfoy..."_

_"Call me Draco."_

_He removed a hand from Harry's face and ripped his robe open, splaying his fingers across Harry's chest. Harry hissed and pressed himself back into the fridge, but his lips harder against Draco's._

_Harry tangled his fingers into Draco's hair and began struggling to dominate the contact, pushing his tongue against Draco's. _

_"Fuck me."_

_Harry moaned as Draco ran his nails lightly down his torso. He shivered and moved on to sucked Draco's neck._

_"...what?" He paused._

_"You heard me."_

_Draco reached between the two of them to grab Harry's erection which was poking in to Draco's thigh._

_"I want you."_

_"I..Draco!" He pushed away._

_"Please..." He pushed back into Harry and ground their hips together, digging a knee between Harry's legs and pressing up. _

_Harry's breath caught and he squeaked, grabbing Draco's hips and tipping his head back, moaning loudly._

_"Harry..." Draco slithered up Harry's neck and licked the rim of his ear._

_"Harry, I want you, please.. Don't you want me?" _

_Harry gulped and nodded yes._

_Suddenly all the pressure was gone and Draco was sliding down Harry's body. Harry caught him by the shoulders and hauled him back up._

_"I'm really...sleepy...allthesudden..." Draco slurred. He pushed away from Harry and puked on the floor one more time._

_Harry's brain switched back on and he cast a cleaning charm on the floor. He got a cup of water for Draco and put Draco's arm around his shoulders and began to walk him to the room to lie him down._

_"You took two sleep potions and whatever the hell was in that cauldron."_

_Draco turned his head the other way, he didn't want to admit the amount of desperation that had occurred when Harry left. He just wanted him close. Very close. Close enough to make up for the loss._

_He rolled Draco on to the bed and began to walk away._

_"Why... I didn't do anything wrong why are you ...leaving." Draco's eyes were sliding shut every few seconds._

_"I got a list of ingredients, I need to look in to it. I'm just getting a book I'll be right back."_

"And then when I came back in, I sat down and you sat on me like this and fell asleep for a while, woke up a few times, mumbled some things..." A blush broke out over Harry's face and Draco could feel his arousal.

"I think I must've puked up that purple potion because I can ..feel your feelings again." Draco mumbled eyeing Harry's crotch.

Harry quickly put the book in his lap.

He cleared his throat.

"So what was in that cauldron?"

"It was..." Draco reached up and felt the bump on his head from where it had collided with the kitchen floor.

"...I was trying to stop...feeling the way I was feeling...You said you got a list of ingredients, how did you do that?"  
Harry smirked,

"I promised to testify at her hearing."

"...on her behalf? After ..Are you serious? After she did this to me?"

Harry laughed,

"No! She just made me promise I'd testify, didn't say anything about whether or not it would be a good or bad thing for her. She's relatively unintelligent." Harry smiled.

Draco nodded before grabbing his head. He felt like he had the hang over of the century.

"What did you find out, before next time I try to fix this and I end up killing myself?"

Harry stared at him a moment with a look of horror on his face.

"No, I did not purposefully try to kill myself. But I have no bloody clue what kind of insane concocsion I just poured down my throat, apparently threw back up, and then tried to jump your bones. All while not really being conscious."

Harry nodded and swallowed hard, Draco felt the saddness in him. It was deep and cold. He clearly wasn't thrilled with himself for his little disappearing act earlier.

"She gave me the list, it's everything used for amortentia but she apparently used extra of certain things to try and make it more powerful and less of other things. Her uneducated guesses caused the love aspect to be left out while this...obsession...thing is still here."

"Ok so how do we fix it."

Harry tapped the front of his book and looked down at his hands.

"Oh god. There isn't a way to fix it...I'm going to be like this forever..."

"Love potions don't last forever, Draco, don't be ridiculous...and really just..try to stay out of my head please. Now you've got me paranoid of giving you these potions because Merlin knows what you'll drink next to try and 'fix' this..."

Draco wrapped his pale arms around himself as he felt a chill go through him.

He had been sitting there, next to Harry for that whole time without his skin screaming for more. Yes he had his legs over his but, they were wearing pants. There was no flesh contact. More importantly there was nothing begging him to touch and be touched.

As the chill ran down Draco's body, the anxiety returned. It began gnawing at his chest and worked it's claws around his heart, squeezing and twisting. He felt his stomach turn and he began to rub his arms.

"Oh god..." he whispered.

"What's wrong?" Harry laid the book down and reached out to touch Draco.

"It was gone. I was sitting here and i was fine and then it came back..." he groaned and felt helpless as the tremors started.

Harry's hands froze. He had a thoughtful expression for a moment before he reached all the way out, brushing his fingertips against Draco's jaw.

Draco's entire body jerked and he dug his nails in to his arms. Harry's fingers slid up his face and Draco's head snapped up, wide eyed and confused. He looked at Harry as goose bumps broke out over his entire body and Harry hesitantly leaned forward.

"I'm sorry I left..." He whispered into Draco's lips. He was shaking. So hard. He was so nervous.

Draco felt Harry's guilt and uncertainty doing laps around his mind and was reminded momentarily of the first time he touched a boy. How guilty he felt for letting his parents down and how good it felt and the horrible nervousness.

"Potter...we're not in Hogwarts. Snape isn't going to walk around the corner and catch us." Draco mumbled, holding perfectly still as he felt Harry's emotions raging against eachother.

"I'm just..." He tipped his head and kissed Draco once.

"Really sorry that I did something so cruel. You're suffering..." he kissed him again, a little deeper this time.

"I wont use this as a way to get back at you again, I promise. Just..promise me you wont do something that drastic again."

Harry was staring at Draco's lips, waiting for a response.

Draco simply nodded and Harry leaned forward, this time with an open mouth, and was met with Draco's open mouth.

He gently nudged Draco back on to his back, placing a hand on the back of his head to make sure it wasn't jarred against the bed. Draco pulled at Harry's robe as Harry shrugged it off. Their chests made contact and the dead thing that had taken over where Draco's heart had been was alive and well again.

"Do you want me to heal the bump on your head?" Harry mumbled between kisses.

Draco opened his eyes slightly to look up at Harry and just leaned forward claiming his lips again.

His body was on fire, his erection was throbbing, and Harry could've been describing various ways in which he wanted to torture and kill bunny rabbits and Draco wouldn't have been capable of doing anything other than lying there and having Harry willingly nipping at his neck and doing wonderful things with his tongue.

The pleasure he felt was amplified by Harry's feelings mixing in with his own. The guilt and nervousness was all but gone.

"I'm sorry" Harry whispered in to Draco's neck.

"It's ok..." Draco muttered.

"Do you feel good?" Harry asked.

Draco moaned in reply and felt Harry's lips turn in to a smile against his chest. Harry's words vibrated his sternum and it tickled.

Harry trailed his tongue up the center of his chest and Draco felt himself getting close.

"I can feel you getting tense..." Harry said, smoothing his face across Draco's stomach.

A sense of self righteousness flooded through Draco. A sense of correctness and accomplishment. Not like when you build something with your own two hands but when you cheat on a test and get an 'A'.

He pushed Harry back and looked in to his eyes for a moment.

"Don't be so smug with yourself, Potter." Draco said as his face shifted to a grimace.

"I nearly died today because you had a fit and decided to leave. Making me cum isn't going to make that not have happened, or make me any less paranoid that you wont do it again if I should say the wrong thing."

Harry sat back on his heels and stared at Draco with his mouth open.

"That's not why I'm doing this! I ..." Harry closed his mouth abruptly and picked his robe up off the bed and put it back on.

"Fuck you, _Malfoy_" Harry muttered as he picked up his book and scooted far away to the edge of the bed.


	8. Feening for the Fix

A/N: Feedback makes me go faster 3

Draco had been lying awake for hours it seemed, watching the sun rise through the slits in the blinds on the window.

He had a horrible time trying to sleep that night. After their mini-spat Harry allowed Draco to sleep in his bed but would not touch him until he asked nicely.

Initially Draco had refused to cave, relying on the good old Malfoy pride to ultimately kick his ass once again.

He felt Harry's arm that had been around him lift slightly and shift. He rolled over and faced Harry.

He watched his eyes slowly open and stare blankly for a moment as they came to focus on his face. For a brief moment, he thought he felt Harry's arm tighten around him before he sat up and stretched.

Harry flung his feet over the edge of the bed and started towards the bathroom.

"I promised the minister I would go back today and check in on their possible progress. I suppose you'll have to come since you can't be away from me for even a few hours."

Draco opened his mouth to argue for his independence, then quickly shut it, realizing the argument was coming purely out of pride and ego. Realistically, he was extremely relieved that Harry was suggesting he go instead of just telling him to take a months supply of sleeping potions and suck it up.

After they had both showered and brushed their teeth, Draco silently and miserably sitting outside the bathroom shaking and destroyed while Harry was in it, Harry attempted to get Draco to cook breakfast.

"Do I look like a house elf?"

"..."

Draco scoffed.

"I..guess I was just assuming that you may know how to survive." Harry said as he got eggs and a frying pan.

"I know how to make potions. I know how to make money. Money which would allow me to not need to know how to do any of these things. Money I already have."

Harry proceeded to make them food, sharply noting to Draco that he expected him to keep his hands to himself in the ministry, because after all, that was where he worked. He had a reputation of professionalism and was not very fond of public displays of affection.

Draco glared at him as he fought back the nausea that had been running circles in his stomach for the past thirty minutes while Harry stood mere feet away cooking and not touching him.

"Like I enjoy touching you." Draco folded his arms.

"I do it sheerly out of necessity, you've seen what happens when I don't."

"Yea, you're already starting to look green."

Draco put a hand to his face, as if he could feel the colour change.

"I'm fine." he stuck his nose up in the air.

"Whatever you say..." Harry put a plate in front of him and watched as Draco inhaled the food.

Momentarily feeling the lack of it mixed with the vomiting stronger than his nausea. He consumed two plates of food before Harry had time to get through his one.

"God...I don't think I've ever been this hungry in my life..."

"If you don't give your body a minute to register the food you'll get sick..."

"Shut up Potter. Like you'd know."

"Well when I lived with the Dursley's they didn't always feed me, and then I would go in the kitchen and just eat everything and I got so sick..."

Draco's eating slowed down and he gaped at Harry.

"Your family didn't..feed you?"

Harry kept his eyes on his plate as he neatly scooped up bite sized portions to his mouth.

"They did and did not do a lot of things that should or should not have been done." He stated plainly.

They sat in awkward silence for the rest of the time. Draco listening on and off to Harry's raging thoughts. Angry memories of abuse and arguments. Screaming people and accusing tones. It was enough to make Draco feel mad and they weren't even his thoughts.

After about twenty minutes had passed, Draco pushed back and rested his hands on his stomach.

"Feeling it now?" Harry asked with a know-it-all smile.

Draco just rolled his eyes.

Harry waved his wand and the dishes took themselves to the sink and began washing.

Draco smirked,

"So you know how to clean, you just don't do it."

"You don't either."

"It's not my house." Draco retorted, standing and stretching. Attempting to get some of the food to move around.

"You're living here though." Harry eyed Draco's torso.

Draco felt Harry's eyes focus on his torso and stare intently as his shirt lifted slightly.

"I am not living here. I am stuck here. Trapped. Don't get confused, Potter. I want to be here just as much as you want me here."

Harry cleared his throat.

"We need to get to the ministry."

"We need to stop at my home first. I wont go anywhere in your clothes."

"What's wrong with my clothes!"

Draco stood up straight and plucked at the white button up shirt he was wearing,

"It's all too big and muggle. That's what."

He rubbed the shirt between two fingers,

"I couldn't even tell you what this is MADE out of."

Harry stood up and walked past Draco,

"That's ok, I couldn't either, and it's my shirt!" He offered him a sarcastic smile, holding the door open.

"We can floo to your house then the ministry. You can't apparate to the ministry."

"I know that. But I'd rather apparate to my house, straight in to my room... I don't want to come in to contact with mother..."

Harry recalled the fit she publicly threw when Lucius had been sentenced to life. Draco's offer to help was the only thing keeping him out of prison and his father from the death penalty.

"She's been un-well, then?"

Draco didn't answer and hooked his arm through Harry's,

"Just shut up and don't move."

Harry felt the familiar tug in his stomach and landed on shaky feet on a plush green carpet. It vaguely reminded him of grass.

"That's why I picked it, back in school. When we re-did my room... I had just gotten the seeker position and quiditch was always on my mind... That was the last really innocent year I had at Hogwarts... My biggest concern was quiditch..."

"Speaking of minds...stay out of mine." Harry said clearly uncomfortable with the area, topic, and nostalgia of a time that was both simpler and fuller. He felt Draco hesitate before he pulled his arm away from Harry and walked towards his closet.

He removed the shirt and started to unbutton the pants. There was a tightness in his chest and he felt a blush break out across his face.

"Potter. You've seen me have an orgasm. Why do you care if you see me naked?"

Harry didn't answer, but turned to face the other wall.

He instead scanned the room, keeping his mind purposefully OFF of naked-Draco. The bed was easily king sized, if not just abnormally large. A huge black comforter with peaks, like frosting, covered the top, beneath it could be seen shiny white sheets that looked so pristine Harry was concerned simply being near them would mess them up. His walls were covered in awards for potions and quiditch. Ancient artifacts that could probably individually be sold for more money than Harry ever had. The walls were deep green and the curtains covering huge windows were black, blocking out all of the sun. A crystal chandelier in the center of the room lit the entire place. He had a walk in closet that Harry didn't other looking in to find out the depth, as Draco had walked in to get clothes. A fireplace with what appeared to be a huge silver claw in front of it caught his attention. He approached it and looked at the mantle. The ceiling appeared to be enchanted to constantly have a night sky. Harry considered that this room was easily 3 or 4 of his own. It was more like a fourth of his house all together.

His eye was caught by the hand he had seen in Knockturn Alley. For old time sake, he reached walked up to it, right before he touched it he looked down to see a house elf pop between it and himself.

He gasped and jumped back.

"Master Malfoy doesn't like his things touched." He rung his hands.

"Master Malfoy?" The tiny creature shuffled towards the closet.

"Your mother will be most pleased you have returned."

"NO!" Draco shouted, running out as he straightened the cuffs of his shirt under his black robes.

"You will not tell her I was here, do you understand me?"

The elf's ears pressed flush against his head.

"Yes sir..."

"Leave." Draco said as he stretched his arm out, examining it.

And with that, the elf disappeared.

"You could be nicer..." Harry said quietly.

"And you could stare at me less. But I AM nice and I don't mention it." Draco said still examining his sleeves.

He dropped his arms and shot Harry a sly smile gesturing towards the fireplace.

As they approached it the bony claw opened and Draco walked up one finger. He grabbed a hand of floo powder and walked in to the fireplace. He tossed the powder down while shouting

"Ministry of Magic."

As soon as he walked out, Harry popped up behind him.

He hadn't said anything but the lack of contact had already begun affecting him.

He followed Harry down the hall, wrapping his robe around himself more tightly trying to ward off the empty cold.

"Potter! Good to see you!...oh and Mr. Malfoy.." Kingsley gave him a curt nod.

Draco bowed and kept his face blank, not having the energy to create a smile.

"Any news?"

"Well, we have hearing dates and... you know the hall really isn't the place to be having this conversation. Let's go to my office."

They followed him. Draco rapidly losing energy and focus.

They sat across from him at his desk and, while he was entire aware that they WERE speaking, Draco could not tell you what they were saying.

All of his thoughts, his focus, his entire being was concentrating on Harry Potter. Thinking of the way he smelled. How he had curled up to him last night. At some point he recognized that they were both staring at him, but he was too busy staring directly to the right of Harry and lost in his own world.

"Mr. Malfoy?..."

"huh? oh..yes.. of course..."

"Are you alright?"

Draco wiped the clammy sweat off of his forehead and crossed his legs, attempting to sit up straighter,

"I'm a bit nauseous. I ate breakfast too fast is all..."

He kept trying to swallow, but his throat had gotten so tight trying not to vomit or screaming and latch on to Harry.

"Alright...Well, like I said, let me go get the forms for you to fill out officially filing your statement that she attacked you."

He nodded at him.

No sooner had he left the room than Draco stood and began to pace.

'you're not allowed to touch him here, you're not allowed to touch him here.'

The more he thought it the more he needed to.

Harry stood and walked up to Draco.

"Are you going to be sick? I could ask them for some anti-nausea potion while we're here..."

Draco looked up at Harry and stopped pacing. He just stood there, taking in Harry in his white with green pin-stripes button up shirt and his horrible untailored khaki coloured pants. Draco took a step forward and they were awkwardly close.

"Draco... just a few more minutes it'll be ok...You just need to fill out these papers and...then we can go home."

Draco scooted slightly closer with his head still down. He looked up and Harry's eyes went wide.

"You look really sick, why don't you let me get you that potion" Harry started to walk off, but Draco caught one of his arms.

For a minute he just stood there, both hands wrapped around either of Harry's wrists. His shirt was rough and that god-awful fabric he couldn't identify, nor did he care to. In comparison to his own soft skin the shirt was practically sand paper. He gripped slightly harder and came so close to Harry that he could feel him breathing on his face. He felt Harry's heart beat speed up and momentarily felt kind of like he was in control. A small grin spread over his face and he felt special, just knowing he could effect the big bad Harry Potter like a teen aged girl.

He looked up and their noses touched,

"Your heart rates speeding up..."

Harry just stared at Draco, lips slightly parted, staring at Draco's mouth. He nodded yes.

"Slightly less repulsed by my touch than before?"

Harry shifted his gaze to the left.

"I was never..." He swallowed.

"...never repulsed just..."

Draco ran his hands up Harry's forearms and biceps to his shoulders, he felt his body react the way Harry's was and his erection pressed into his robes, causing an obvious bulge. A downside to wearing silk, it was very clingy. He took a hand to the back of Harry's neck, and they both leaned in at the same time, lips meeting parted and anxious. Harry moaned into Draco's mouth and Draco stepped forward, pressing them completely together.

"You feel good.." Harry muttered as they both separated to breathe before diving back in, Draco with a smile along his thin lips.

"I'm having a hard time remember something about you that isn't good right now." he started to push his other hand under Harry's shirt.

"Draco.." Harry separated them and held him at arms length.

"Just wait, we can't do this here."

Draco never had anything to say when Harry broke contact with him because it was like someone was sucking the oxygen out of his very blood and replacing it with icicles. Painful and sharp and miserable.

"If you can put up with the paper signing and the other questions... and letting me get some stuff out of my office so I can work at home tomorrow...I will let you...within reason, touch me for as long as you need when we get home."

"That's the thing, I can't even look forward to it because I just need it right now..." Draco said, his thoughts stopped when Harry took his hands from his shoulders.

"It's like... someone telling you, after you've already been holding your breath for so long that you can have all the oxygen you want for five minutes if you just wait five more...You know you'll die before then but they don't seem to get it..."

He put his hands where Harry's were. Foot steps could be heard and Harry quickly sat back down in his chair.

"I'm sorry Draco. Just a few more minutes..."

The door opened,

"Here we are, I just need you to fill this out and you can be on your way!" Kingsley said with a smile.

Draco grimaced and sat back down.


	9. The Fix

Heroin 9

Through all the paper signing and discussion Draco sat, trying to hide his shaking hand. Trying to keep his eyes from Harry's body. Trying to not just rip his shirt off and jump on top of him. Every time eyes weren't on them Harry would sneak a hand over and brush it against Draco's. It began to make him sick.

Like he was a dog at a dog show getting idle pets because he was sitting pretty and walking in those nauseating circles with his head held high and his ass in the air.

By the time they aparated back to Harry's house Draco was fuming, along with thoroughly ill, clammy and in general disgusted with life.

He shoved himself away from Harry once they got into his house and leaned against the wall. He ran his hands through his damp hair and slicked it back taking deep breaths and shrugging his jacket off on to the floor. He growled,

"Is this some kind of sick fun for you?"

He squeezed his eyes shut as the a stomach cramp forced him to bend over.

Unwillingly he let out a pained groan, gripping his robe until the shoulders pulled down and the buttons on his shirt began to pop.

"Are...are you alright?"

"It burns." Draco gasped.

"It burns inside. Like it's trying to make a hole in my stomach, and all my nerves are firing at once." He looked up at Harry with the most menacing deathly glare he'd ever thrown any ones way.

Harry shuffled his feet for a moment then shrugged off his robe, laying it over the arm of the sofa.

"I promised you time to touch me as needed..."

Draco scoffed,

"Oh goodie, I get a cookie for being a good-" he was cut off my his own gargled painful sounds as he gulped down air and the sweating got worse.

"I don't think you're a dog Draco." he slid his shirt off of him and slowly approached Draco.

"How...how do you want to..." Harry reached out his hand just to have it slapped away by Draco.

"No. NO. You did this to me, and this will be under my terms." He was trying desperately to catch his breath just over the brief contact of smacking away Harry's hand.

He grabbed the brunette by his hair and slammed him in to the wall next to the fireplace Draco had been leaning on, burrying his hands deep in his hair. He pressed their foreheads together and looked Harry straight in the eyes. Eventually, his breath evened out and the room stopped spinning enough for him to stop feeling the need to wear Harry like a human jacket.

He cupped Harry's face and Harry diverted his eyes.

"No."

Harry looked back up at Draco's words.

"Look at me."

Harry's eyes widened as Draco removed his glasses and slipped his fingertips along Harry's jawline and down his neck, eyes staying locked.

He let his finger tips trace down Harry's sternum and the slightly shorter boys entire body twitched. The sensation that ran through Harry causing the twitch ripping through Draco and causing Draco to nearly scream. He flattened his palms over Harry's abdomin and gently ran them over the muscle, downwards, cupping his hips and digging in his fingers.

Harry closed his eyes and turned his face away.

"Draco..."

He pushed his hips out. It would've been a pleasurable experience but there was such severe sadness attached to it Draco could barely feel the arousal coming from Harry.

He brushed his lips against Harry's cheek.

"You're unhappy that I'm touching you?"

Silence.

He grabbed Harry's face and pointed it towards him.

"I can feel how unhappy you are. You're unhappy that I'm having to touch you. You're unhappy that I'm touching you, you know what that makes this? Non-Consensual. You know what that makes ME? Do you think that makes ME happy?"

Harry's lips parted to speak but instead he just reached out and ran a finger down Draco's shirt wordlessly melting the buttons off and opening the shirt. He kept his hands by his side but continued to look in Draco's eyes, magic pulling Draco in to him so that they were touching and he pressed their lips together.

He licked slowly at Draco's bottom lip. Nibbled. Draco dug his nails into Harry's hips and Harry cried out in to Draco's mouth.

"Don't pitty me. Don't touch me and tease me out of pitty." Draco gritted out.

"And I thought Voldemort was a monster."

Harry's eyes flashed an un-natural shape momentarily and in a near hiss he pointedly spoke,

"You can't hear my thoughts, Draco. Either your potions getting stronger, or the one I'm giving you is wearing off, but you can't hear my head. All you have is what I feel and only parts of it."

"What else could make you sad that I'm touching you, Potter" Draco spat out, nuzzling Harry's neck.

Harry kissed Draco's neck and Draco's knee turned to jello, Harry wrapping an arm around him. He sucked gently, licking, nibling, then a full bite. Draco screamedm grinding forwards in to Harry. He reached down and ground his hand against Harry's erection through his jeans. Harry moaned in to Draco's neck. He pushed forwards in to Draco's hand and finally picked his hands up to wrap his arms around Draco's shoulders, sucking on his bite mark as Draco un-did the front of Harry's jeans.

"Don't stop, please." Harry mumbled into Draco's collar.

"I couldn't if I wanted to."

Draco wrapped his hand firmly around the base of Harry's erection, squeezing and pulling up slowly to the tip, rubbing the head with his thumb and playing with the slit.

"Your hands are so soft..." Harry muttered.

"Can you cum standing?" Draco asked.

Harry grabbed both of Draco's wrists and pulled them over to the sofa, wrapping his legs around Draco, erection leaking on his stomach.

Draco went right back to work, stroking Harry's length as the slightly shorter boy beneathe him writhed and moaned his name over and over again. Beging him not to stop.

It was over emberassingly fast. Harry sprawled his fingers across Draco's chest, arched his back and chuckled,

"Will you judge me for cumming so quickly?"

He got no answer from the blonde who's face was burried in his shoulder. He dug his nails into pale shoulders and cried out Draco's name a few times as he came so hard it braised Draco's chin.

He moved to touch Draco and Draco stopped his hands.

"You don't have to."  
"Draco, I'm not disgusted with you touching me obviously it's just that-"  
"No, I can hear you. I can hear in your head. You don't have to touch me because I came with you."

Harry lied their silently for a moment.

"Oh...so..."

"Yea..." Draco said wiping off his chin and standing up.

"I know... I know you like me touching you, I know you want me to. I know you..."  
"Don't hate you" Harry interjected.

"Yea...It's probably like stockholm syndrome or something... this...attraction you have to me..."

Harry just stood up and went to shower, tossing Draco another purple potion.


End file.
